Archive for the 'Humor' Category

BOB at the FOB on A Soldier’s Mind

June 12th, 2007 by xformed

Chasing links via VA Joe, I found A Soldier’s Mind, and…on the sidebar of that blog, a series of cartoons named “BOB on the FOB” by SGT Albert J. Merrifield.

Click the pic for the big, readable version

There’s more….I’m sure I don’t even get all the humor, but they sure seem funny enough to me.Update 6/13/2007: More of SGT Merrifield’s cartoons.
Update 6/14/2007: I foundstumbled upon the source. It’s the old blind squirrel routine…

Category: Army, Humor, Military, Scout Sniping | 2 Comments »

BBC: “US military pondered love not war”

June 12th, 2007 by xformed

Yes, that’s right. The philosophy of the late ’60s and ’70s finally sunk in at the Pentagon…or maybe just with the Air Force.

Check out this article on the “Gay Bomb.”

The US military investigated building a “gay bomb”, which would make enemy soldiers “sexually irresistible” to each other, government papers say.

Other weapons that never saw the light of day include one to make soldiers obvious by their bad breath.

The US defence department considered various non-lethal chemicals meant to disrupt enemy discipline and morale.

The 1994 plans were for a six-year project costing $7.5m, but they were never pursued.
[…]

Ok, we, the US Military is constantly being beat up for using kinetic weaponry. There has been, for almost a decade that I know of, a push for “Green” weapons, too (I guess that means you have to file environmental impact statements from the cockpit, combat information center, or the tank commander’s hatch prior to firing…).

Along comes a non-lethal method, that falls in line with many posters and bumper stickers I have seen since the early ’70s, and you’d think the Left would be happy, wouldn’t you?

From CBS 5 6/8/2007:

[..]
Gay community leaders in California said Friday that they found the notion of a “gay bomb” both offensive and almost laughable at the same time.

“Throughout history we have had so many brave men and women who are gay and lesbian serving the military with distinction,” said Geoff Kors of Equality California. “So, it’s just offensive that they think by turning people gay that the other military would be incapable of doing their job. And its absurd because there’s so much medical data that shows that sexual orientation is immutable and cannot be changed.”

Somehow I don’t think the gay community leaders understood the scope of the weapon. The plan would have called for an powerful aphrodisiac effect to provide the “distraction.” I doubt seriously the plan was to just make people gay and let it go at that.

On the other hand, I am a little surprised that the gay community doesn’t stand up and call for this to be fully developed, and then demand it be used not aboard in conflict, but generally for the entire US. It certainly would slove a few problems for them if everyone turned gay…

Other “non-lethal” plans included causing wasps and rats to attack the enemy troops, a method to cause extreme halitosis, so those blending with the local population would still stand out, and also one your dog would really hate, the “Who? Me?” flatulence producer.

As it turns out, some people were on this years ago. This post from 12/29/2004:

Military Lab Proposed Gay-Aphrodisiac Chemical Weapon

Thanks to a FOIA request from the Sunshine Project, a fascinating document has now come to light. In June 1994, the US Air Force Wright Laboratory wrote a proposal titled “Harassing, Annoying, and ‘Bad Guy’ Identifying Chemicals.” While listing the categories of chemical weapons they planned to develop, the military scientists wrote:

Chemicals that effect [sic] human behavior so that discipline and morale in enemy units is adversely effected [sic]. One distasteful but completely non-lethal example would be strong aphrodisiacs, especially if the chemical also caused homosexual behavior.

The Air Force Lab was quite serious about the proposal, listing a timetable and estimate of expenses for the overall project.

Total cost through fiscal year 2000: $7.5 million

Having enemy soldiers throw down their guns and start humping each other: Priceless

Scientists. You gotta love them.

Media;

You gotta love how they can recycle news of old when it suits some agenda to raise the ire of someone.

Category: Humor, Military, Military History, Political, Technology | Comments Off on BBC: “US military pondered love not war”

Sunday Funnies

June 10th, 2007 by xformed


Click for a bigger version
Photo credit: Unknown. Entertainment credit: Someone going too fast and not keeping their eyes on the road.
Check out CDR Salmander for his version of Sunday Funnies”Check out the boat’s name, it explains a lot!

Category: Humor | Comments Off on Sunday Funnies

D-Day Remeberences of Jim, Sr

June 6th, 2007 by xformed

Jim, Sr. and I sat down at dinner last night and I asked him what he was doing on 6/5/1944. He pondered the question a moment, then said “We had been on alert for almost 30 hours.” I didn’t go into chasing that rabbit trail, but he then talked about how, on the eve of his (their) first combat, they were “relieved.” Why, you ask? Well, he explained, they had had all this training and now they were finally getting the order to “GO!” He said the apprehension of the timing of the invasion had been “horrible.”

They spent their time, packing up stuff, labeling their foot lockers and writing home, with “hints of goodbye” for they certainly couldn’t divulge any more than they were heading into combat. He talked about living in quonset huts, heated by a pot bellied stove at each end of the building. How breakfast was a big bowl of corn flakes, that you scooped into your bowl, then you scooped your powdered milk on it and you also got a boiled potato. The bacon was thick and not well cooked, when you did get it. He remarked the rations got much better when they based in France, usually having a local French woman cook up their K rations.

The gliders didn’t fly at night, but the C-47s had been flying to deliver the 82nd All American and 101st Screaming Eagles Airborne Divisions. The CG-4A gliders flew after the landings had begun.

He discussed the visions of the shores of Normandy he will never forget, and then they went further inland.

They had only practiced with maybe 24-36 gliders approaching one landing zone before, and they had practiced with a set, planned landing pattern. Not this day. More gliders, no set pattern, toss in ground fire, land mines and hedge rows.

“I watched men sacrifice themselves so others could have a clear place to land.”

They would land and jam the control column forward to bury the nose of the gliders as a landing skid, and a way to plow up dust and dirt clods as camouflage from enemy gunners in the area. They would try to bounce down hard on the tires and hopefully leap back into the air to an altitude about 10 ft or so, to maybe clear the hedge rows while getting stopped.

Jim was one who was designated a flight leader, and also had been trained to determine the airworthiness of the gliders in the landing zone. He was responsible to select one, then get it set up for a snatch recovery by a C-47 with a tailhook. The passengers on his first return leg were not wounded, but other glider pilots, so they may get airborne again for more flights into the combat area. He said he prayed as he held tight to the steering column, awaiting the catapulting force when the snatch line went taught, that the glider he had picked was sound and that they would not have the wings fall off as they began to get airborne.

After all these years, he still wonders why he survived without injury, in combat or otherwise, from 4.5 years of service, and admits he still feels some guilt for having come home, when so many other great men did not.

He will have his American flags flying this day.

Category: Air Force, Army, Humor, Military, Military History | Comments Off on D-Day Remeberences of Jim, Sr

Modernity and All That Jazz

June 5th, 2007 by xformed

embedded by Embedded Video


George Carlin telling about his “moderness”
And…Chap and company tell us about more robust technology (blatantly lifted from a comment section on Cdr Salamander):Regarding “wheelbooks:”

I’ve been a staff weenie too long, but I remember the half hearted attempts (at spectacular cost!) the sub force made at updating tech. Problem was, paper’s a pretty good tech.

——
You don’t have to reboot a wheelbook.

If a wheelbook falls in the water, you can retrieve the data.

Wheelbooks are EMP hardened.

If a wheelbook gets a virus, you just wipe it off and smack the guy who coughed on it.

Wheelbooks are backwards compatible. Upgrades are simpler than drag and drop.

In the event of a loss of power, your wheelbook is still perfectly useable.

Wheelbooks don’t accidentally send pr0n to five hundred of your closest friends.

If it’s ten seconds to live fire and the wheelbook is jostled and lands on the deck…you just pick it up and keep going.

Wheelbooks do not require Wheelbook IT admins, nor endless rules about what background can be put on the wheelbook.

If you have a dirty picture in your wheelbook you’re not very likely to get thrown off the boat and sent to jail.

Personal choice in wheelbooks is not prohibited.

Someone else’s personal choice in wheelbook will not cause your wheelbook to lose all the writing on the pages.

I could go on, but you get the point…
Chap | Homepage | 06.04.07 – 1:55 am |

Further augmented by other reasoned individuals, these add ons:

Wheelbooks aren’t forbidden in SCFs

Wheelbooks won’t shut down on you in the middle of a meeting when the battery rolls over and dies
– SJS
Steeljaw Scribe | Homepage | 06.04.07 – 4:18 am | #

Gravatar you don’t have to worry about a cracked screen or broken/lost stylus.
YN1(SS) | 06.04.07 – 7:08 am | #

Category: Humor, Military, Navy, Technology | 1 Comment »

Geez! Already?????

June 1st, 2007 by xformed

Oh, the HYSTERIA! Yes, it is YOUR responsibility to have at least 3 days of MREs and stuff like that ready….

Florida Evacuated
Cancel your summer vacation plans, and your Labor Day trip…we might get a CAT 5 or bigger hurricane between now and the end of October…be proactive!

Category: Humor, Political, Public Service | 1 Comment »

Ropeyarn Sunday “Sea Stories” and Open Trackbacks

May 30th, 2007 by xformed

Free range Open Trackbacks! What a deal!

What to discuss? How about the t-shirt?

The postal clerk had some rock music magazine he kept in his post office, up in the forward passageway. Often, on my daily messing and berthing inspections, I’d pass by and stick my head in to check the current status of the stowage of the place, which could range from neat and nearly empty to packed pretty full of large orange mail bags waiting to leave or to be sorted.

I paged through said magazine one day and noticed an article about concert shirts, which included one that said “Attila the Hun – Middle East Tour.” I commented on how I liked that one, particularly (if you caught it last week) since I had been posting sayings from “Leadership Secrets of Attila the Hun” on my stateroom door during the cruise.

Very shortly before I was to leave the ship in Bharain and fly home, the PC3 handed me a folded up white t shirt. I unfolded it to see it was nicely hand lettered with “Attila the Hun Middle East Tour – Oct 89 – Mar 90.”

On the day I detached, the ship was also sailing to return to CONUS. I stood on the pier, watching my ship, my exclusive home for the last 5 months, single up, then take in all lines. As the 1MC passed the word “UNDERWAY! SHIFT COLORS!” I opened my shirt to reveal the “concert” shirt to the line handlers amidships, where the PC was.

For fear of the marker lettering running, that was the one time the shirt was worn, and only briefly. I changed out of it before I went to the airport and stowed it away for safe keeping.

Category: "Sea Stories", History, Humor, Military, Navy, Open Trackbacks | 2 Comments »

Where’s MEGEN? 5/27/2007

May 27th, 2007 by xformed

I’m glad you asked….especially you from the Marine, Army and Air Force ValOUR-IT Teams.

“MEGEN” (say it sort of like like a girl’s name) is the “Most Exhaulted Golden NotEbook,” the trophy for the 2006 ValOUR-IT fund drive. (H/T: SteelJaw Scribe for the name)

MEGEN is going to help set up the fund collection efforts for this coming October/November campaign. If you other teams had done better, you wouldn’t be getting snarked by Team Navy like this. So, here’s the deal: MEGEN is going on a trip to many places Navy, to pose for pictures and allow the escorts to tell the story of ValOUR-IT along the way.

Today, MEGAN was fortunate enough to pose for a picture with a person from Navy history, a crewman of the USS MASON (DE-529), a destroyer escort in WWII crewed by African-Americans. Ben Garrison was a Radioman 3/C and plankowner on that ship and therefore is one of the Navy’s icons.We, Team Navy, are going to make a point of getting in contact with many people with strong affiliation to the Navy in order to be ready to flood the coffers of ValOUR-IT right out of the starting gate. Names and emails will be amassed to make sure we smoke you all and then we can plan on a second tour for MEGEN in 2008.Now, just to see how we’ll will douse this wonderful trophy in naval settings, you’ll have to come back here and see what our evil plans are to rub it in for the next several months. We’re not telling in advance, but know the locations will be well picked for maximum PR and donation effect.For any readers, if you’d like to kick in a few bucks to a great project to help the wounded troops, click here! Money is needed all year around, not just near Veteran’s Day. Thanks for your support!And Matt and Jimbo, Cassandra and John, time to get your game on!

Category: Blogging, Charities, History, Humor, Military, Military History, Navy, Supporting the Troops, Valour-IT, Where's MEGEN? | 7 Comments »

What Do You Talk About on a 40 Hour Flight?

May 12th, 2007 by xformed

Duuno, never took one, but here’s a report of a recent one.

Warning notice: The conversationalists where Marines on a military aircraft…there, I said it.

BTW, the correspondent is none other than Taco Bell from The Sandgram – ’nuff said!

Category: Blogging, Humor, Marines, Military | Comments Off on What Do You Talk About on a 40 Hour Flight?

Band of Bloggers – Part VI

May 9th, 2007 by xformed

Sorry about the lack of posting, but spent time with family and driving back from the DC area.

I was presented with the newly designated trophy for the annual ValOUR-IT Fund Drive, in recognition of the Navy’s sprint to the “finish line.” Not enough words can be said to express my thanks to all who made it happen, for it was certainly not done by me.

I will take a few photos tomorrow (CPT Chuck Ziegenfuss signed it) and post them here, along with the list of bloggers we had take part in the effort. Look for it n the next day or two.

To keep amused, here’s what I found out people do for fun with duct tape from listening to the radio all day today:

And the winners (competition is still on going) get a $6000 cash scholarship….

Category: Charities, History, Humor, Military, Public Service, Supporting the Troops, Valour-IT | Comments Off on Band of Bloggers – Part VI

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