I as sat watching the first two hours of Season 5 of the Fox series “24,” I thought there is one difference between that and reading the blogvel “Rythyms” by Capt Lex:

At least you know for sure when the next episode of 24 is coming on…

One doesn’t come with exceptionally loud (and appropriate) sound effects…

Other than that, both are action packed and worth every minute.

BTW, Rythyms XLII is posted!

Update: Thanks to an astute commenter at Little Green Footballs, there is a list of rules when operating in or near former Special Agent Jack Bauer…

Over at Plain as the Nose on Your Face, we have these truthful Bauerisms:

We feel it is high time that everyone learned a bit more about the man entrusted to safeguard our national security:

* When in Jack Bauer’s presence, Chuck Norris urinates sitting down.
* Jack Bauer can squeeze through spaces that would make a spider claustrophobic.
* Tired of the incessant whining and complaining, Jack Bauer found the dogs and let them right back in.
* Jack Bauer’s saliva is bullet-proof.
* After receiving repeated roundhouse kicks to the head from Chuck Norris, Jack Bauer was heard to ask,”Can you go a bit lower? I was crammed in an air conditioning duct between 7:00 a.m. and 8:00 a.m. and my back is killing me.”
* Jack Bauer can eat five times his body weight in terrorists.
* Concerned that his dog would break under interrogation, Jack Bauer snapped his neck and turned him into the bag which he still carries to this day.
* Jack Bauer has the ability to smell sounds.
* Ancient peoples sacrificed virgins to Jack Bauer in anticipation of his birth.
* The only thing elephants used to fear was mice. Until they hurt one of Jack Bauer’s friends.

And…thanks once more to Little Green Footballs for the Open Threads, that are the cause of so much fun and information from all over the world!

This was published in the local paper on New Year’s Day, but not listed in the Pearls Before Swine cartoon archives.

Maybe it’s an analogy of what happens out here in the blogosphere sometimes…Thanks to Little Green Footballs for the Open Thread!Thanks to Mudville Gazette for the Open Post!

Capt Lex says he wants a Mazda Kabura, but I really think he let out that his eyesight is slipping from the one eagle eyed 20/15 measure he is used to….that’s way too sad for any pilot.

But, in the spirit of tech lustâ„¢, I’d like one of these:
A really, really BIG Screen.

Now, on the other hand….

these would be nice (and would keep from disturbing others in the room), but…alas, as with many things develped for the DoD, it’s really kinda pricy..(I think about $26K) and it looks very nerdish.

These are more compatible with the middle income pocket book, in the $899 retail range…

Received from a friend…he is a retired CPO,,,,

A man walked into a pet store and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, a First Class Petty Officer from the local Navy base walked in and said to the shopkeeper, “I’ll take a maintenance monkey, please.”

The man nodded, went to a cage at the side of the store and took out a monkey. He put a collar and leash on the animal and handed it the PO1, saying, “That’ll be $5,000.” The PO1 paid and left with the monkey.

Surprised, the man went to the shopkeeper and said, “That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did that one cost so much?”

The shopkeeper answered, “Ah, that’s a maintenance monkey. He can run diagnostics on all radars/weapons systems, score 95 on the ASVAB test, operate all forms of test equipment, perform the duties of any Maintenance Man qualified person with no back talk or complaints. It’s well worth the money.

The man spotted a monkey in another cage. “That one’s even more expensive, $10,000! What does it do?”

“Oh, that one is a Workcenter Supervisor monkey! It can instruct at all levels of maintenance, supervise maintenance on the unit, intermediate, and depot level, knows all OPNAV instructions, utilizes ORM, and even conducts Divisional Training. A very useful monkey indeed,” replied the shopkeeper.

The man looked around a little longer and found a third monkey in a cage. The price tag read, “$50,000.” The shocked tourist exclaimed, “That one costs more than all the others put together! What in the world does it do?”

“Well, I’ve never actually seen him do anything but drink beer and play with his pecker, but his papers say he’s a Chief!”

Scott Adams has begun a blog! You Know, the author of the “Dilbert” cartoon strip.

You’ll find it here.

See if you can find the comments on the Porpoise Driven Life…..

Hat tip: The Pillage Idiot via Eagle Speak.

I know about TQM and “off-sites.” They are special in their own way.

Anyhow, it seems the Dr. Demming methodology has been adopted by the terrorists and al-Zarqawi reports he got a memo:

“Anyway, I’m in the middle of Xeroxing some ammonia nitrate receipts Friday morning, thinking about what I needed to pack for the weekend family trip to Damascus, when I get another memo:

From: A. al-Zawahiri
To: All Associates
Subject: Mandatory Weekend Retreat”

It’s worth the read, if for no other reason than to understand how universal the feeling are about some of the TQM driven meetings….

Oh, make sure the kiddies aren’t shoulder surfing, and depending on where you work the memo might not be work safe, so plan accordingly before you click the link to get “the rest of the story.”

Hat tip to Little Green Footballs for the lead to IowaHawk.

Thanks to Mudville Gazette for the Open Post opportunity!

Ohio High School Has 64 Pregnant Students

Here’s the money quote from the article:

“Experts, parents and students themselves struggle to explain why such pockets of high teen pregancy rates appear. Are teens getting appropriate sex education? Do they have access to birth control and are they using it consistently? Has the stigma of unwed motherhood lost its edge?”

I was going to, in the spirit of the times, blame this on Global Warming®. The high pregnancy rate must be a result of President Bush not signing the Kyoto Treaty. Everything else is…

Then I got thinking….I think it’s events like this, that despite the Kyoto Treaty provisions, are exactly what cause Global Warming®. What a dilemna we now face. There is no accounting for the destructive effect of excessive body heat generated by teens with nothing to do besides to practice (and sometimes succeed) at getting pregnant.

On top of wringing our hands over that, we need to raise the flag now about who is to blame for the damage to the Gulf Coast. These teenagers shouldn’t be allowed to escape the consequences of their actions that caused the two Category 5 storms!

We must now consider whether we will try to amend the Kyoto Treaty, or is we need to have a major worldwide conference, say in like Amsterdam. At least there, the residents would be open to the discussions….

Just a thought…

Thanks to Mudville Gazette for the Open Post!

I fear the object of my post my now have become history as a result of Hurricane Katrina, but, then again, maybe not….

For those who have spent some time in the BB&G in Pascagoula, MS, you will know of the old wooden hull grounded in the mud on the east bank of the Pascagoula River. For the rest of you, know this is a “sea story,” and therefore, is truth.

The USS SPRUANCE (DD-963) was built in (then) Ingalls Shipbuilding and Drydock on the gulf coast of Mississippi. It was commissioned in 1975, and the first of 31 (30 were originally planned, then the one more was added to the procurement) destroyers of the class. I was a “plank owner” (initially assigned crewmember) on the 22^nd hull of the class, USS LEFTWICH (DD-984) and was first “exposed” to the industrial shipyard lifestyle of a new ship in July 1979. While there, I learned of a new tradition that had begun during the days of the SPRUANCE Class building.

As you travel west on Hiway 90 through Pascagoula towards Gautier, you eye caught a old fishing boat hull imbedded in the mud, stern in, bow out towards the river, just a few yards north of the bridge. The decks had long since caved in, but the mast was still standing skyward. The wooden hull was a disgusting brown tone, showing the inattention given to the boat as a whole. As you got abreast of the vessel, there was a white set of numbers on a haze grey rectangle painted near the stem, in the approximate position that would mimic a set of hull numbers painted on a US Navy warship. The paint for these numbers was generally pretty bright, as it was renewed about once a month for the “tradition” that had grown in the local area, as a good natured joke between ship’s crews.

During the rapid building of the SPRUANCE Class, there was generally a number of sailors and officers present for several of the ships. Obviously, the closer to commissioning, the larger the crew assigned. While I was there for two months prior to the commissioning of the LEFTWICH, the full crew of the JOHN ROGERS (DD-983), a better part of the CUSHING’s (DD-985) crew was around, and then the core of the HARRY W HILL’s (DD-985) where there. The ships were being commissioned about a month apart, so it was a busy time.

When I arrived in July, the wooden hull was marked with “983.” ROGERS would be the next ship commissioned. The night before commissioning of the NICHOLSON (DD-982), that crew had made off with some government issue white and haze grey paint and sent a detail out to honor the ROGERS by painting their hull number up on this derelict hull. A few days after my arrival, the ROGERS commissioned, and lo and behold, when we went to work from our barracks the next morning, the numbers “984” had replaced the “983.” It was the local tradition….

One the night before our commissioning, who were we to break the pattern? A small detail did their job and put up the CUSHING’s “985.” The day after our commissioning, we sailed south west towards the Panama Canal, as Hurricanes Daniel and Frederick churned towards the Gulf of Mexico, our time at Ingalls over for the next few months.

In late January 80, we sailed to Pascagoula from our homeport of San Diego for both warranty work (a standard yard period after the ship had been operated for about 6 months), to be followed by a several month shipyard restricted availability (SRA), where we would have upgrades of radars and weapons installed. Since our departure from Pacagoula the prior August, several more SPRUANCE Class destroyers had joined the fleet. The expectation was there certainly should have been something like the hull number of the FIFE or the FLETCHER on the derelict hull by then, but that was not the case.

I actually knew before the rest of the crew, having driven ahead of the ship to be the liaison between the shipyard and SUPSHIP reps and our crew. I arrived about a week before the ship did. I crossed the bridge heading east into town and looked at the boat, only to see a not so brightly white “984” adorning the unseaworthy hull. As it turned out, the Commanding Officer of the CUSHING had waited until after we sailed for our home port and sent his crew out to paint over 985 with our hull number. Subsequently, no other crew felt the inclination to poke fun at the hulls behind them in the commissioning sequence, hence the fact the white paint of our hull number was no longer so fresh.

At some point after the ship arrived, some of our sailors went out one night to undo the “honor” bestowed on us. I can claim that the LEFTWICH had her hull number on display longer than any of the other SPRUANCEs and most likely longer than any ship built at Ingalls.

In 1984, I flew to Pascagoula in preparation for the overhaul my ship, USS CONOLLY (DD-979) would soon be going through. I was happy to note that there was a “5” painted on the derelict’s bow for the USS PELELIU (LHA-5), which was finishing up construction at the time.

This coming Sunday’s (8/28/05) St Petersburg Times paper will have a special section with the interviews they did with the WWII veterans in the area for a tribute to VJ Day.

Last spring, the Times put out a call for veterans to share their story. From what I understand, about 100 people
responded. One of them was Jim Helinger, Sr, the glider pilot who’s story I have
posted. I was able to sit with Jim when the summer intern reporter videoed the interview for the paper. I’m looking forward to reading the memories of those who answered the call and stood up for us so many years ago. I don’t recall the reporter’s name, but I do know he was sent on many of the interviews. He is on vacation now, and will be coming back to work full time for the St Pete Times.

It struck me the day I sat with Jim and the reporter and as I heard the reporter discuss a few of the men’s stories he had received for this section, I couldn’t help but think what a wonderful gift of living history this young man received by sitting with these 80 some year old men and listening to how it was. I’m sure he will use those stories for many years, long after some of these veteran’s have left us.

Anyhow, I plan to get a hold of a few copies for my own files. If you’re set on getting your own copy, I’d be happy to try to get them to anyone who want’s them. The paper is $1 for the Sunday edition and then what ever the cost of an envelope that will keep the special section intact and postage. See my profile for the email address, or leave a comment here so I can get back to you.

Update 8/26: I found out this special section will also include the interview with Ben Garrison, one of the crew members of the USS MASON (DE-529), the only large ship crewed by African Americans in WWII.

It seems daily as though the (what we refer to in the blogosphere with great regularity) “Main Stream Media” (MSM) loses ground, for their “journalism” has just become pretty blatant editorializing, but, without much “investigation.” Maybe they have just lost their identity and are seeking where their niche has gone to.

They strike me as shifting away from being journalists, but not achieving a goal of being investigative reporters. Well, maybe I could give them that they can adequately handle consumer complaints about not getting a proper service job on an AC unit, but the bigger picture of the important geopolitical landscape seems to escape them. Mostly, the content of the stories leave out significant factual information, while other stories are completely ignored. In doing the “censoring” of the “product” being “packaged” to put the most money in their stockholders (or owner’s) pockets, the world view leans heavily towards hate, violence and other disgusting things, but you all knew that…

Therefore, I suggest a new name for the “MSM:” “Has Been Media,” or “HBM” for short.

One day, when the go back to school and, once more comprehend the purpose of a journalist is to report the facts on both sides, maybe they will be worth paying attention to once more.

Comments?