Get them before they sell out faster than Tickle Me Elmo dolls….

Get one for yourself and all your loved ones to prevent the repetitive stress injuries of too many rotations of the wrist late at night….

Homework to catch up: Part I of the series.

Not that this was planned, but the current events just point to the ongoing search to find the one locus from which all things can be blamed for all the ills of the entire universe.

This week’s theorized cause of all evil: Mark Foley.

Here’s a thought, as I have presented before on a similar topic, that of the “corruption” of Tom Delay. Back then, in one of my blog posts, I said it would behoove the opposition party to first “check six” and clear their baffles, before taking what they thought was the best shot, for they might find out some of their number had similar issues in their records. Well, in the case of Tom Delay’s situation, it seemed many in Congress had not filled out travel reports 1) in a timely manner 2) disclosing all the sponsors of their trips. Not only was this a reality in the aftermath of the very public charges, later, we found William Jefferson with $90K in his freezer, wrapped in tinfoil (I guess to preserve it’s freshness).

I will, once more, predict (and I’m certainly no oracle), that, as one TV correspondent says last night, they are getting many emails from other pages. It is only realistic to believe, that the subjects being discussed in those emails coming in will include human beings, most likely almost exclusively male, and, there ceratinly may be some Democrats in the bunch. Whether that is disclosed before or after the elections next month isn’t necessarily the issue, but the fact that it’s a human condition in the sexually related society we live in. The “backsplatter” will get those who are making exceptionally bad (and in some cases, illegal) choices, but it isn’t reasonable to brand everyone of their party as participating in the same behavior.

I also don’t think this will cause the conservative Christians to boycott the entire Republican party slate, any more than any other group will get rid of their incumbent congresspersons. With a 95%+ reelection rate over the long term, we love to hate them, and we say we should vote them out, but what we really mean is “you vote out yours, mine did a great job getting me and my family government handouts…” History tells us where that has gone. The shrillness of the calls for punishment, however, might actually energize people to get out and vote out/against those who scream the loudest, seeing the out of control rage as a sign of being, well, out of control in general.

Somehow, I also believe that in all the races around the country for the various House and Senate seats, if the Democrats try to say their opponent, being of the same party as Mark Foley, by implication, is just like him will be a very long stretch and I presume most people with a degree of common sense will see through the preposterous accusations along these lines.

Frankly, I’d much rather put my head down and recount 25 years of personal computer use, and the joys of changing standards, “vaporware,” try before you buy software wars, and having to convert to the “Dark Side” of choices of operating systems.

Final note of the moment: As a self appointed oversight board member for the committee searching for the GUBT, get back to work, you’re being distracted from finding the real root cause of all evil.

Next final note: Democrats – I think you found a crack in the armor, but it’s not big enough for you to get a pry bar in and open the floodgates.

Update 10/5/2006: Geez…it’s a tough day when I can predict the future….It seems that:

• The “child” was 18 at the time of the IMs in question, ergo: No crime, just a really embarrassing story here. Certainly far less of an issue than Gary Studds actually committing sexual acts with a minor page of his in 1983.
• The entire IM thing is a prank gone off the tracks. It seems the IMs were recorded and passed around for entertainment value, and ended up in the hands of someone who wanted to cause pain and anguish. BIG lesson here….

Back many years ago, a man I worked for taught a lesson about writing things. The message applied here. Too bad more Congressional Respresentatives haven’t been reading my blog…:(

Anyhow, it’s not that I have special powers, it’s just the Democrats/leftists are too blinded to see they aren’t thinking. Not fac checking something you have had available for about a year, then deciding to use it as a lever to regain power is, well, the most gracious word, STUPID!

As I’ve ruminated about a few times in the junior blog, and now here: You lefties dishonor the very people with a background that has a prayer of getting you some traction: ex-Military members. War College grads, with battlefield experience could serve you well, but they are just people too stupid to be able to have a real job, so…they don’t darken your doorways to offer their expertise. Just the facts, Ma’am!

I love physics. Years ago, I figured what wasn’t physics was chaos…but then that actually has an order of its own, when you peel back enough layers.

Phyisicts have been looking for the one common formula for years, that will explain everything. Here is a book on the topic, in case you’re interested in finding out more on the issue.

Now, just like the people who slave away in physics, in the molds of Newton and Hawkings, we have a corelary in the political world, and I would suggest, the cultural aspects of society as well. I will call it the Grand Unified Blame Theory (“GUBT” in subsequent references). Just as the physicists want that one single formula, from which all other formulas are derived, so they can understand the weak forces, strong forces, light waves, gravity, etc, etc, etc, in the political world, there are those who seek to find the one individual that, one “uncovered” will explain all the ills of the world, society, and the planet. From Global Warming, to the wearing of burkas, they seek, with seemingly endless energy, the person who is the root cause of all that is evil, all that is bad, and all that has brought strife, pain and misfortune to “the masses.”

The research, biased and unbiased (mostly very biased) goes on, yet there seems to be no end in sight….not only are there legions of scientific personnel involved, but extnesive numbers of those in the “press” have joined in, thinking they can help answer the greatest question of not only our time, but of all time.

At the moment, the magnifying glass is on President George W. Bush. Within the last two weeks, we have found out he is not a facsimile of, but in fact, the Devil himself. If that were the case, then he would be the one, single cause of all the pain and misfortune of all humanity, before now and in the future, but they are grasping at straws. Just as the physicists struggle, so will the sociologists, professional and amateur, to come to grips with the answer to the GUBT, whereupon they may cast in stone the truth, stripping away the descriptor of “theory.”

I have a suggestion to help you determine the one person of great human angst. You need to test your theory by taking out of play that person who your research suggests is the single person worthy of your blame. Isolate them from their duties and all society, and then see what happens. See if the greenhouse gases instantly disappear (ok, well, abate at some quite noticeably accelerated rate), if all killing stops, alternative energy scientific breakthroughs occur and dead dinosaur fuels are obsolete (oh, yeah, that should make the “victims of oppression” in the Middle East want to pass out daisies and turn in their suicide belts), if the poor and downtrodden are suddenly provided with wealth unimagined, that snail darters thrive and spotted owls no longer have to nest in K-Mart lighted signs. It shall also mean the end of earthquakes, Cat 5 hurricanes (or tropical storms that cause the evacuation of Florida), volcanic eruptions, tsunamis, forest fires, and tornadoes. Cancer will no longer appear in any life forms, obesity will disappear, stem cell research, will cure everything from “owies” to Alzheimer’s, with no pain, using a single, small, easy to swallow pill, dispensed from every street cornet free of charge. Taxes will no longer be taken by the Government, and roads will no longer develop potholes. Snow will fall everywhere in your yard, except on the sidewalks and driveways, and will not cover any roads, be they one lane dirt tracks, or 10 lane Interstate.

BUT… only if the isolated person is “the ONE” being that is the proximate cause of all that is bad in the World.

Amazingly. last week, former President Bill Clinton thought someone was naming him as “The ONE,” and reacted accordingly. I think his staff hadn’t gotten the word to him that the final series of experiments hadn’t conclude on George Bush. Maybe he should spend more time smoking cigars and playing poker with President Chavez, Ahmadinejad and Kofi Annan, to make sure he gets the straight story, which should keep his blood pressure down and keep him from having another heart attack.

On the other hand, if only interactions between people get better, then I submit you have merely found a small factor of the forumal, and you must spread your research to encompass the entire universe, known and unknown, for the final answer…..

Anyhow, my poor attempt at humor is to cause you to get a grip. Just as soon as you think you have found “The ONE,” there will be someone else taking their place, so why not just do what that sage philosopher, Rodney King pondered: “Why can’t we all just get along?”

More to say later on the cultural ills of the world, and how to get rid of those who cause them.

Oh, and note to President Clinton: I’m sure Hillary would be happy to know, after she was hurt, that you “tired harder” than anyone else to make sure it didn’t happen. Only the results count. Intentions, good as they may be, pave the road to hell.

Trackbacked to:

The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns, The Amboy Times,

Just a bit of humor for the day:

Definition of Fictoid:

A fictoid is a bit of fictional history, making a statement or telling a story in one sentence. A typical fictoid tells who did what, when and where. A fictoid may even be partially true, but is never entirely true, or it would be a factoid. In fact, a fictoid is just a fictional factoid.

I may have to buy the book to find out if I’m right, but for many years, I have long told the story of the farms out West where they breed small, slick skinned creatures named “naugas”…..

Fun from the poster generator:

Yeah, it gives me a headache, too, even after all these years…

From Despair.Com, a DIY demotivator poster generator.

Example of demonstrated creativity:

Thank you, Dave in Texas, for encapsulating our collective endeavours!

Click here and have fun!

I’m looking forward to the cynicism that will be produced!

Trackbacked to:

Dragon Lady’s World

True? Don’t know, but sure sounds like air travel today….

Received via email, and those who have a tendancy to spew coke, coffee, water or tea from their noses when confronted with a funny story…do what you have to do first, then read:

WINNIPEG AIRPORT
This is hilarious. I wish I had the guts of this girl. For all of you out there who’ve had to deal with an irate customer, this one is for you. An award should go to the Air Canada gate agent in Winnipeg for being smart and funny, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo.
A crowded Air Canada flight was canceled. A single agent was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket on the counter and said “I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS.”
The agent replied, “I am sorry, sir. I’ll be happy to try to help you, but, I’ve got to help these folks first, and I’m sure we’ll be able to work something out.”
The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, “DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?” Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address
microphone, “May I have your attention please, ” she began, her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. “We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14.”
With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the Air Canada agent, gritted his teeth and swore “F*** You!”.
Without flinching, she smiled and said, “I’m sorry sir, you’ll have to get in line for that too!”

Related post: Matt of Black Five tells about “Turbo dude” at his boarding experience yesterday….and it’s a true story!

It might be true, it might be not, but it came into my email inbox today:

LETTER FROM A FARM KID
(NOW AT San Diego MARINE CORPS RECRUIT TRAINING)

Dear Ma and Pa,

I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. but I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.

Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there’s warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you until noon when you get fed again. It’s no wonder these city boys can’t walk much.

We go on “route marches,” which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it’s not my place to tell him different. A “route march” is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The country is nice but awful flat. The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don’t bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don’t know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don’t move, and it ain’t shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don’t even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain’t like fighting with that ole bull at home. I’m about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I’m only 5’6″ and 130 pounds and he’s 6’8″ and near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,

Alice G

HT: Glenn Beck’s radio show…

Well…I wonder how many liberals are hauling one of these around? What will they think of next for the pet rock purchasing crowd?

C’mon…like this will give you more of a clue than the big fireball in your vicinity? Oh, yeah…maybe one of your fellow travelers is packing a suitcase nuke as a carry on, and you (without a parachute as your carry on) want to know.

Glenn said this is a favorite inside the Beltway accessory.

I’m thinking a e-coli detector you can hold above your mixed green salad would be a hot seller right now….

OH, and the best part (to rip off Glenn), if there is a nuke and it does go off, and you didn’t get enough warning…it’s not like you will be around to sue them in a class action suit. On top of that (we return now to original thought), which of your neighbors has a calibrated “source” out on their tool bench that, while you’re over for a beer on Saturday afternoon, is available to do preventative maintenace checks on your key fob?

Hey…it’s only $160….(or $145/ea if you buy one for your significant other at the same time) mere pocket change for the DC crowd…

First we had the “Main Stream Media (MSM),” then I proposed the “Has Been Media (HSM)” in the “junior blog,” and Tony Snow used that term a few weeks later….but now, it’s time for a change.

Just came to me today. Maybe we should just call our friends in the press: “Media’b’Allah”

Sounds good to me: The media of God (meaning Allah). After all….that’s how the reporting seems to slant (more like lean hard over towards, like an iron object in the vicinity of a very strong magnet).

Just thinking….I hope I’m not ripping off the Hiz’b’Allah® moniker too badly….