Archive for 2007

Ropeyarn Sunday "Sea Stories" and Open Trackbacks

September 26th, 2007 by xformed

Last week netted two trackbacks….and also I left off a sea story about War Gaming at War College.

So I was the Ops Boss for planning. We did that in the few intervening days. How to approach Pakistan during “heightened tensions” in order to pull US citizens out of danger ashore, while not losing our combat power. Rules of engagement were pretty restrictive, as you might expect.

Sometime in the next few days, I was told by Danny that I was going to the be the Big Kahuna for the war game execution. There you go. My low grade in the class, but wearing black shoes and a SWO pin. Never did think of it until now, but possibly the airdales had convincingly dodged the bullet and I was left to take the scepter unknowingly.

Soviet Charlie II Submarine
Off we went, one morning to the red brick building a few blocks from the main building, where our command centers would be. We were given a current intelligence briefing for the area, and I distinctly recall that a Soviet Charlie II sub was out to the west, underway and, as part of the Soviet platforms in theater, a potential threat to the battle group. The complication of this presence was that India, a neutral party in the current raised tensions, had leased a C-II from the Evil Empire. Intel showed had same sub inport at an Indian Naval Base in the last 24 hours. Having come from the sub chasing world not but a few months before, I mentally cataloged the info as significant. Partly because my recent experience tuned me to it, but also because off all the beginning locations, the issue of the Charlie seemed to have the opportunity to come into play very early on in the games.Off we went, armed with pseudo factoids presented by the “and then the exact opposite of this briefing cannot be discounted disclaimer crowd (Yep, intel weenies), to our assigned warfare commander “modules” to fight the war with paper charts, hand written radio logs and plexiglass edge lighted status boards.

Within an hour or so, an S-3A (no B birds in the fleet yet), played by one of the game controllers (a
shoe LCDR), sent to the west to conduct ASW sweeps, sure enough got a solid sniff on a nuke boat, high probability that it was also the not located very recently Charlie II. The ASWC calls on the radio for direction and I issue a “take” order on the contact. Roger, Out!

Then ASWC calls and tells me the “pilot” said he couldn’t do that, because it might be the Indian leased C-II. I, once more, say “take the subsurface track.” Pilot continues to stall, argue. I get on the net and say words to the affect: “When I order you to engage, you put weapons in the water!” Response: “Lost contact!” AW1 Tim and company knows there is always a handy-dandy gouge for executing a “time late” attack, yet this “combat pilot” seemed to have all sorts of excuses as to how not to take out the threat, for which we had the ROE to support the engagement in our hands.

At that point the ramp up to war was stilling in run, so I/we went back to work, foiled once more by “playing to real.”

The next morning, at the new day’s intel brief, my peer in real rank insignia, yet not in the world of the war game, began to lecture during the putting forth of info, something about not starting a war with a friendly nation. Some part of his upbringing had not exposed him to the skillful tutelage of CAPT W.E. Jordan, Jr, in the finer points of physics a as a viable life application in decision making, specifically the parts about Time/Speed/Distance, the immutable factors of vehicle movement we learned to live by off the coasts of many lands.

I dispensed with the niceties of providing a full tutorial for the errant war game staff officer, but did provide a Reader’s Digest version, telling him the Indian sub couldn’t have made it from their last known location inport on the west coast of India to the vicinity of the PROBSUB contact of the S-3, unless it grew wings and engines like a really big airplane, so he should have put MK46s in to take the Soviet sub out to the picture right then. He wasn’t happy, so I told him the next time I directed and engagement, all I wanted to hear was “Bloodhound Away!” I didn’t do the next part as well as Jack Nicholson in “A Few Good Men,” but I did directly ask for his complete understanding, which I got.

Back to the modules we went, to begin a new day of evaluating ROEs and looking forward to making war, not love, within the confines of such political-military constraints.

Yes, later the C-II did somehow manage to arrive, undetected, in our neighborhood, and it spewed forth a few SSN-9s to get our blood flowing. If he only would have listened…but then, if they had crafted their game force layout better, they could have put the Indian C-II at sea, close enough to require some in depth soul searching before I cold be so cavalier with the taxpayers’ torpedoes.

Next week: More “War Games.”

Category: Open Trackbacks | 2 Comments »

Technology Tuesday

September 25th, 2007 by xformed

Toys….

Virtual Reality headsets have been a technology I watch from afar.Two things have made them “not just yet” for the run of the mill users: 1) Cost! and 2) Resolution. The second actually drives the first, when you consider the expense in making a small LCD, or now OLED, display less than an inch square have the same resolution as most people run on their laptops and 15/17″ LCD monitors: 1024×768 pixels.

I once was working on the Computer Aided Dead Reckoning Tracer project, when they used an upended Mitsubishi 37″ TV as the viewing surface. There was a quest to replace the CRT technology with a digital projector by the engineers working the project, and at the time, they were lucky to have a 800×600 pixel display for the projectors (similar issue with the LCD in the projector). Pushing the manufacturing process to make 1024×768 yielded significant failure rates in the LCDs produced. That was 1997-8.

Things have come a lot further now, and Vuzix has a series of head mounted displays (HMDs) that are affordable and can display a 1024×768 picture to each of your eyes. Not surprisingly, they also build such equipment for the military/tactical market, which, most likely has been a major factor in driving the cost down for the run of the mill consumer by expending military R&D dollars.

iWear VR920

The one headset in particular that I have “my eyes on” (maybe I should say “in”) is the iWearYR920. Besides being able to take a VGA display feed, it also has head tracking built in. That means the unit, while worn, sends a signal back via the interface to tell the computer which direction you are “looking” in the virtual world. Big deal? Yes, it is. For games like Flight Simulator X from Microsoft (check out a video of the VR920 in action with FSX here), when you look around your cockpit, or the outside of the cockpit, the display shifts as though you were looking there, without the operator having the slew the picture about artificially with key strokes. That adds another layer of realism to the game….
Specs:

Technical Specifications:
Twin high-resolution 640×480 (920,000 pixels) LCD Displays
Equivalent to a 62″ screen viewed at 9 feet
24-bit true color (16 million colors)
Visor weighs 3.2 oz.
60 Hz progressive scan display update rates
Fully iWear® 3D compliant and supports NVIDIA stereo drivers
Built-in noise canceling microphone for Internet VOIP communications
Built-in 3 degree of freedom head-tracker
USB connectivity for power, tracking and full duplex audio
Analog VGA monitor input
Support for up to 1024×768 VGA video formats

Features:
6-foot slim, single cable design with miniature USB and VGA connectors
Large field-of-view optics to allow a fully immersive experience
iWear® 3D enabled for automatic 2D/3D control; no buttons required
With built-in microphone users can communicate from anywhere in the world as if they were standing next to each other (or inside the game)
Integrated 3 DOF head-tracker lets users look around inside virtual worlds as if they were there

User Adjustable:
Removable, flexible headphones
AccuTiltâ„¢ viewer pivots up to 15 degrees
Soft, comfortable, hypoallergenic nosepiece extends out up to 3/8″
Custom fit headstrap included for extra secure fit

Supported Media:
Plug and play video with virtually all PC applications
Thousands of pre-existing applications in full 3D (supported by NVIDIA stereo drivers)
The VR920 will completey change the plethora of massively multiplayer applications from World of Warcraft to Internet chat in virtual worlds

Advanced Optics:
32 degree field of view
3/4″ eye relief and 5/16″ eyebox
2.5″ Intraocular Distance (IOD)
Color corrected 10th order aspherical lense with diffractive surface

Box Contents:
iWear VR920
Headstrap
Drivers, manual and software disc
Quick start guide with warranty and safety instructions
Lens cleaning carrying pouch

Price tag? SRP $399. Not cheap, but…not like the $24,000, many, many lb beast I used to find around the net that would do the same thing in military grade simulation applications…

In case you don’t need head tracking, but are in the habit of watching movies, but have the significant other that doesn’t share your choice of movies, or you are on the road/in the air a lot, or just bored and sit and watch movies, there is the AV920 for a savings of $50 @ $349 to plug into your DVD player.

What does it look like? 62″ display at 9 feet. Like sitting in the TV/Living Room with the $3000+ dollar big screen. See, it’s really affordable if you explain it to her that way…and she won’t even have to watch it because you grabbed the remote first and you saved at least about $2650!

What’s not to like?

You know…it could be like this:

Read more about this monstrosity here…

Category: Public Service, Technology, Technology Tuesday | Comments Off on Technology Tuesday

Monday Maritime Matters

September 24th, 2007 by xformed

John Paul Jones

Serendipitous? Yes it is. Eagle1 brings us back to the famous battle of John Paul Jones 9/23/1779 in his Sunday Ship History series.From Wikipedia some details of John Paul Jones’ life:

John Paul Jones (July 6, 1747–July 18, 1792) was America’s first well-known naval hero in the American Revolutionary War.

John Paul Jones was born John Paul in 1747, on the estate of Arbigland in the Stewartry of Kirkcudbright on the southern coast of Scotland. John Paul’s father was a gardener at Arbigland, and his mother was a member of Clan MacDuff.

John Paul adopted the alias John Jones when he fled to his brother’s home in Fredericksburg, Virginia in 1773 to avoid the hangman’s noose in Tobago after an incident when he was accused of murdering a sailor under his command. He began using the name John Paul Jones as his brother suggested during the start of the American Revolution.

Though his naval career never rose above the rank of Captain in the Continental Navy after his victory over the Serapis with the frigate Bonhomme Richard, John Paul Jones remains the first genuine American Naval hero, and a highly regarded battle commander. His later service in the Russian Navy as an admiral showed the mark of genius that enabled him to defeat the Serapis.

Jones simply was not as good a politician as he was a naval commander, in an era where politics determined promotion, both in America and abroad. Though he was originally buried in Paris, after spending his last years abroad, he was ultimately reinterred at the United States Naval Academy, a fitting homecoming for the “Father of the American Navy.”

The famous battle with the HMS Serapis is covered by Eagle1.

John Paul Jone's Crypt at the Naval Academy

Other notes of interest about John Paul Jones. After the Revolution, he left the US for France and ended up being commissioned in the Russian Navy as an Admiral. He then had the opportunity to take on an early fight against the Ottoman Empire:

[…]
As a rear admiral aboard the 24-gun flagship Vladimir, he took part in the naval campaign in the Liman (an arm of the Black Sea, into which flow the Southern Bug and Dnieper rivers) against the Turks. Jones successfully repulsed Ottoman forces from the area,
[…]

Through a series of unfortunate events of internal Russian Navy politics, he was released from service there. Retuning to France, he died there July 18th, 1792. Buried in Paris, his graveyard was later sold and then left untended. His body was found in 1905, having been searched for by the US Ambassador to France, Horace Porter for six years. John Paul Jones remains were carried to the US aboard USS BROOKLYN (CA-3) escorted to the US by three other cruisers, and met by seven battleships as they neared the coast of the US. In 1913, his remains were placed in the Chapel at Annapolis, in a ceremony presided over by President Theodore Roosevelt.

Five ships have been named in honor of John Paul Jones:

  • USS PAUL JONES, a sidewheel steamer commissioned in 1862
  • USS PAUL JONES (DD-10), a . Commissioned in 1902, she saw duty in the Pacific Fleet and in the Atlantic running convoys in the Western Atlantic. Once caught in a raging storm in January 1918, she almost was lost, but made her way yo drop anchor off Bermuda and made repairs. She was decommissioned in 1919.
  • USS PAUL JONES (DD-230), a CLEMSON Class destroyer commissioned in 1920. Initially assigned to the Asiatic Fleet, she was in the Java Sea when the Japanese opened WWII. Escaping after several battles with Japanese forces, she transferred to the Atlantic Fleet as was assigned to convoy duties. She won two battle stars for her WWII service and was decommissioned in 1945.
  • USS JOHN PAUL JONES (DD-932)

  • USS JOHN PAUL JONES (DD-953), a FOREST SHERMAN Class destroyer. Commissioned in May, 1955, she served in the Atlantic Fleet and had the distinction of recovering Virgil Grissom and John Young after their aborted Gemini IIIflight of two orbits vs the three planned. DD-932 was later converted to a DDG, and redesignated DDG-32 in 1967. Decommissioned in 1982.
  • USS JOHN PAUL JONES (DDG-53)

  • USS JOHN PAUL JONES (DDG-53), the third ship of the AEGIS Class ARELIGH BURKE guided missile destroyers. Commissioned 12/18/1993, she was the first of the class to be assigned to the Pacific Fleet. Another early distinction for the JPJ was to be assigned as the shock test platform for the class.
    USS JOHN PAUL JONES (DDG-53) was one of the US Navy’s “first responders.”
    Tomahawk fired at Afghanistan 10/8/2001) from DDG-53
    The picture is of a Tomahawk Land Attack Missile on 10/8/2001 from JPJ headed for Afghanistan.

Here’s a link to the USS John Paul Jones Association, which includes history for all of the ships named for the famous Naval hero.

Category: History, Maritime Matters, Military, Military History, Navy | Comments Off on Monday Maritime Matters

Life Imitates Comics?

September 23rd, 2007 by xformed

Inspired by the General Patreaus hearings before Congress? You decide….

Pearls Before Swine cartoon from 9/16/2007

(Click for a bigger image)

Category: Humor, Political | Comments Off on Life Imitates Comics?

When Will It End???

September 22nd, 2007 by xformed

I’d say, with YouTube and such sites, the 15 minutes of fame will be extended for many years more…

embedded by Embedded Video

Heh.

Category: Blogging, Humor | Comments Off on When Will It End???

A Matter of Perspective

September 22nd, 2007 by xformed

As the toll of US troops lost in the GWoT nears 3800, the AP is counting down the next few deaths.

For a moment, extract yourself from the steely eyed glare at that one metric and consider this:

Traffic deaths should top news
By Peter J. Woolley – Special to The Washington Post
Thursday, December 28, 2006
The nonstory of 2006 was also the nonstory of 2005. It is a nonstory every year going back decades. Yet the number of people who die in car crashes in the United States is staggering, even if it is absent from the agenda of most public officials and largely ignored by the public.

When all is said and done and the ball begins to drop on New Year’s Eve, 44,000 people, give or take several hundred, will have died in auto accidents this year. To put that number in perspective, consider that:

• At the 2006 casualty rate of 800 soldiers per year, the United States would have to be in Iraq for more than 50 years to equal just one year of automobile deaths back home.

• In any five-year period, the total number of traffic deaths in the United States equals or exceeds the number of people who died in the horrific South Asian tsunami in December 2004. U.S. traffic deaths amount to the equivalent of two tsunamis every 10 years.

• According to the National Safety Council, your chance of dying in an automobile crash is one in 84 over your lifetime. But your chances of winning the Mega Millions lottery are just one in 175 million.

• If you laid out side by side 8-by-10 photos of all those killed in crashes this year, the pictures would stretch more than five miles.

• If you made a yearbook containing the photos of those killed this year, putting 12 photos on each page, it would have 3,500 pages. If you wanted to limit your traffic-death yearbook to a manageable 400 pages, you’d either have to squeeze more than 100 photos onto each page or issue an eight-volume set.

Can you hear me now? Automobile deaths are the leading cause of death for children, for teen-agers and in fact for all people from age 3 to 33. Yet this annual tragedy is not a cause celebre.

Opinion leaders largely ignore the ubiquitous massacre. No marches, walkathons, commemorative stamps or fund-raising drives are organized. It is not brought up in the State of the Union address. It is rarely the subject of public affairs shows. Statistics aren’t updated daily in major newspapers or broadcasts.

Gruesome crashes are reported just one at a time, each as if it might never happen again. Little attention is paid to the aftermath: safety measures taken or not taken, the workings or non-workings of the justice system. These avoidable deaths, as well as more than 2 million nonfatal dismemberments, disfigurements and other injuries that go along with them, have become part of the fabric of everyday life in the United States.

Elected officeholders naturally take the path of least resistance. They are well aware that significantly reducing deaths on the roads requires radical solutions in the form of regulation, investment and enforcement. Roads need to be made safer, for example, by extending guardrails and medians to every mile of busy highways. Speeding and aggressive driving need to be much more rigorously controlled. Trucks need to be separated from automobiles wherever possible. And cars need to be built slower and stronger.

But every solution is readily opposed by someone: manufacturers, industrial unions, truckers, consumers, taxpayers — though all are potential victims themselves. The public is not to blame. It is hemmed in on every side by mind-numbing advertising and shouted stories of the moment. Apparently no medium is willing to bludgeon people — as they need to be — with statistics and trends on the dangers facing them every time they set out in their automobiles.

Only if there is a public outcry will this situation get the attention due it. Only when people fully realize the absurd and avoidable costs of the dangers that stalk them on the road — and then demand governmental action in the form of forceful intervention and strict regulation — will this become the story of the year, as it should be.

— Peter J. Woolley is a professor of political science at Fairleigh Dickinson University and executive director of PublicMind, a public opinion research group there.

Kinda puts some things into perspective, don’t you think?

Tracked back @:  <a href=”http://steeljawscribe.com/2007/09/22/open-trackback-saturday-3/trackback/”>SteelJaw Scribe</a>

Category: Stream of Consciousness, Supporting the Troops | Comments Off on A Matter of Perspective

Ever Wonder How They Would Have Done it?

September 21st, 2007 by xformed

For those in uniform during the Cold War, I ask a rhetorical question: Did you ever wonder how the Soviets planned to attack Europe?

No more do you have to lay awake at night and guess: Historian Petr Lunak found the paperwork…

From the UK Telegraph:

Soviet plan for WW3 nuclear attack unearthed

By Henry Samuel in Paris
Last Updated: 4:24pm BST 20/09/2007

Chilling Soviet plans to launch massive nuclear strikes in Europe followed by a ground offensive in Germany and southern France have been unearthed by a Nato historian.

According to scenarios drafted in 1964, Warsaw Pact forces planned to use 131 tactical nuclear missiles and bombs to sideline NATO armaments and destroy Western Europe’s political and communications centres, in the event of an “imperialist” strike.

In an alarming insight into the “Doctor Strangelove” mindset of Soviet strategists, the Czechoslovak People’s Army, CSLA, was then expected to immediately march over deadly radioactive landscape and invade Nuremburg, Stuttgart and Munich, then bastions of West Germany.

On the ninth day the troops would take Lyon, south eastern France.

Soviet reinforcements would then continue the offensive towards the Pyrenees in the west.

[…]

When was this the plan? For a while:

[…]
According to Mr Lunak, the plan was still an option until 1986, three years before the fall of the Berlin Wall.

It was shelved by Vaclav Havel in 1990 when he was elected Czech president.
[…]

Rest easy jow, knowing we won that war.

H/T: Little Green Footballs commenter NJDhockeyfan

Category: Geo-Political, History, Military, Military History, Political | 1 Comment »

Ropeyarn Sunday “Sea Stories” and Open Trackbacks

September 19th, 2007 by xformed

Batteries released. Post your trackbacks here!

On this past Monday, I told some of the story of Gustavus Conyngham in Monday Maritime Matters. left a comment, telling the woeful tale of a finely tuned mind in a Tactical Action Officer course deciding to act upon “hostile intent.” Not in those words, exactly, but that’s what he said he did, and, for risking a mock courts martial, he was relegated to the DDG-2 CF ADAMS Class mock up in Taylor Hall for the rest of the exercise.

I, too, have some stories about war games, decision making and injecting a little frivolity into an otherwise serious place. I will tell pieces of each week for several Wednesday Ropeyarns, just to provide material.

At the Naval War College for Command and Staff (aka the “junior course”), there were three
trimesters” of study. I took them in the order of Strategy and Policy, followed by Maritime Operations, and finally taking Defense Decision Making in the final trimester of study. In the Maritime Operations session, we were required to plan and execute a virtual maritime operation at the end of the studies. Along the way, I, and one other officer, and “Electric” EA-6B Naval Flight Officer named Eddy, were the only students of the junior course who had actually been present at the Operations in the Vicinity of Libya from Jan to May, 1986. Much of the course material, as we in the military are wont to do, reactively had adopted that real world operation as a foundation for the study of “Jointness.” Given the most jointed we got were the FB-111s flying from bases in England over the Atlantic (Thanks, France!), we pretty much had a Navy only show going, but, Eddy and I had “real world, hands on time.” I dissected and retold of my involvement in “A Journey Into History” series (link to Part I) , in case you didn’t catch the posts last year.

Anyhow, the odd thing, was Eddy and I consistently had some of the lowest grades in the class, with our section having a faculty member who was a P-3 Naval Flight Officer, an O-6, as he thought we didn’t fully comprehend the answers we gave to questions, coz they didn’t mimic the “party line” about jointness, with a bias to always make sure the Naval person was the top of the heap. I was the one SWO in the room, with lots of F-14 back seaters and helo guys getting re-tooled for upward mobility outside of their professional fields, as they didn’t have slots with their community anymore. We had a Coastie and a Defense Mapping guy, and then a two USAF and a few Marines.

Eddy and I didn’t have to think a lot sometimes, because of the basis that formed the questions. We had seen the practical application of the process for this very “case study.” Frustrated, yes, and it was fun messing with an O-6 who had been in the classroom too long. One time, I was asked to go the chalkboard and layout the operational command structure. I had the first few boxes drawn when I heard from the back “That’s not in accordance with doctrine.” I turned and looked back at the Captain and said: “That’s how Admiral Jeremiah did it” and went back to drawing the organizational relationships for the provided force structure. No further comments came my way…On the other hand, Paul the resident Supply Officer, being a smart man, but with no operational background, could spit out what doctrine said. Not because he was a stooge of the system, but it was all he had to go on. He got the best grades in Maritime Ops…go figure.

Major Danny Troutman, a helo driving Marine and one of the smartest people I ever met, was assigned to as the Chief of Staff for the upcoming war game. The plan was one person would hold that position for both the planning and the execution parts of the war game. Everyone else would get shuffled. The operation: A non-combatant evacuation from Pakistan of American citizens. My job for planning: Operations Officer. I got to head up drafting the plan for the ops for approval. I asked Danny why me, I was getting the lowest grades. Response: They wanted it done right….

Next week: Going to virtual war at Naval War College

Category: "Sea Stories", History, Jointness, Military, Navy, Open Trackbacks | 2 Comments »

Modern Media…

September 19th, 2007 by xformed

Just a slice of life:

Driving in the pre-dawn traffic to work, and lo and behold….no warning on the radio stations, that breathlessly report accidents and traffic snarls.

I have come to believe by the time the radio news reports an accident, it’s just about been cleared up when you hear it.

So, heading south with the herd of fellow worker bees, I see smoke ahead, off to the left, but the road takes a turn that way. Traffic, is moving like it normally does, so I surmise the source may be on the northbound side….

As I come over the rise, there is a law enforcement vehicle behind the smoking one. Traffic is merging to the right of the four southbound lanes. I find, not being in the right already, have to begin moving over. The talk radio station news begins the 1/4 to the hour report. Nada on the smoking car. Speaking of smoking, the flames become apparent in the vicinity of the hood of the stricken vehicle. I begin to fear the authority on site will call us all to a halt, for safety reasons, but somehow, the traffic still flows, as drivers fairly politely allow others to enter their lane on the right, which also will quickly become a major exit.

I get moved, then have road space to get back over one lane to the left to continue on my normal path. As I pass the car stopped in the middle of this major artery, the entire front end is fully ablaze in the pre-dawn, almost sunrise light. Tires are flat and falling off the front rims, but I don’t slow more than necessary, still keeping my head on a swivel for the other vehicles around mine.

Now in almost no traffic (for a change), i head towards work, and the hourly report comes on….not a word about a major car fire, but there are at least three other fender benders in the county.

Funny, with all the cameras and live feeds and helicopters…and cell phones…somehow the news didn’t get the story.

Category: Stream of Consciousness, Technology | Comments Off on Modern Media…

Speaking of “Sea Stories”…

September 18th, 2007 by xformed

Put your coke/coffe/tea/bottled non-spring water down. That goes for adult beverages, too.

Lex comments on Moving AOCS from Pensacola,FL to Newport, RI. Yeah, “your point?” you ask? Readers respond with some short and hilarious recollections about their time in AOCS. This one from PeterGunn (no relation to Peter rabbit…I think):

PeterGunn // Sep 17, 2007 at 7:57 pm

I can still remember many things about AOCS. Running on the beach in combat boots in August, poopy suits, Gunnery Sergeant Bodine, being “encouraged” by the DI’s stick on the O-Course, even being evacuated in the face of Hurricane Camille and watching Neil Armstrong land on the moon on the Batt III TV. It’s hard to believe, but my experience in AOCS was in 1969, almost 40 years ago.

One of the most humiliating experiences, at the time, seems funny now: RLP’s are frequent and nasty, room-locker-personnel inspections. During one such RLP, I was in my assigned room with my 3 room-mates, each of us assigned to our own task of preparation (if one person did the same thing for all four of us, folded skivvys and polished brass would be the same for all four… a good thing.

My job was the wall locker (closet for civilians). We had two and I made certain all buttons were buttoned, zippers zipped, and everything hanging straight and in the perfect center of their hangers. We had a DI who carried a cane and he would announce himself by banging it on the door frame of each room. We could, therefore, judge how far down the passage-way he was from our room = how much time we had to get “wired up”.

This particular day, he was at the far end… giving us ample time, or so we all thought. To our surprise and my sheer terror, our door slammed open as he banged his cane. The door swung open, trapping me in the wall locker! DI Armstrong commenced to swear and tear my room-mates apart verbally, demanding to know my whereabouts. After many loud outbursts and too much time for me, standing in the closet at attention, the DI opened the door.
Ready for the inevitable tirade and obligatory PT in the sandpit, I said, “going up, sergeant?”

And then it did begin…

And don’t miss the SnakeEater telling Lex how to spell, or some commenters trying to unravel a mystery, or how the rank of Master General came to be in the USMC.

Disclaimer: If you haven’t served, it really may not seem funny at all. It may even sound juvenile or plain old stupid, and may leave you wondering what kind of meds are these people on?

Enjoy!

Category: "Sea Stories", Humor, Military, Navy | 1 Comment »

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