News You Can Use – To Brighten Your Day
Read all the way to the end of this excerpt from an editorial from across the water by Ron Liddle in the TimesOnline:
Another important blow struck in the war against terror. A rather dippy English lady called Jane Felix-Browne has married Osama Bin Laden’s son Omar and intends to live with him in Saudi Arabia. Felix-Browne, 51, who also uses the name Zaina Mohamad al-Sabah and is plainly as mad as a snake, says Omar, 26, loves his dad very much and misses him dreadfully but they “disagree about tacticsâ€.
According to Felix-Browne, Omar hasn’t spoken to Osama since – er, when was it? – 2001. Well, we’ve all had a bit of a problem getting hold of him since then, haven’t we. Maybe he didn’t pay his phone bill in Tora Bora, who knows.
The two lovers met, incidentally, while Felix-Browne, a grandmother who has been married five times before, was having a look around the pyramids: it was love at first sight, for her. The name Bin Laden gave her no qualms at all, she said. Any more than if it had been Crippen or Gadaffi, I suppose.
This is the way forward, though. Never mind the cluster bombs and Challenger tanks, the way to defeat Al-Qaeda is to dispatch legions of barking mad Englishwomen to mate with them, thus seriously compromising the jihadist gene pool and perhaps destroying the terrorists’ resolve and even their will to live.
Wow…several points to grasp and laugh about in that bit of reporting/commentary/observation on the effect on family relations when you can’t manage to pay your utility bills.
But in case you think Ron is rather one dimensional, then there is this end to the writing:
Keith Best, the boss of the Immigration Advisory Service, reckons that immigrants are “better†citizens than those of us who were born here – which has a nicely counter-intuitive ring to it.
There’s a nasty perception at large in the country that all too many immigrants scarcely have time to complete their citizenship tests before suddenly feeling impelled to strap on the Semtex and head for a nightclub or transport hub. Many people complained about Best’s statement, pointing out that it is we second-rate citizens who pay the £13m a year it costs to run his organisation.
Best was once Tory MP for Anglesey before being sent to prison for dodgy share purchases – so perhaps he intended his comments in a purely personal sense.
At least we can relax and know we still have our ties to the mother country in the form of unbridled, rampant immigration whack jobs.
H/T: Chapomatic
Categories: Humor, Public Service